dating, relationships, love

4 Signs He’s Not Into You: Spending All Your Time Together

When you’re in high school and you are dating, you typically spend a lot of time together. Maybe you stay after together for your extracurricular activities or one of you has a car, which makes it super easy to meet up. It’s fun. It’s being a teenager. You may spend all your extra time with this person. Fast forward to when you’re an adult. Most of us are working full-time in some capacity. Some of us have children we are raising. Some of us juggle school, work, and family. As a result, seeing each other daily in a relationship can be difficult, if not impossible for many of us. For the final sign, we are focusing on when he wants to spend all of his time with you. This one is a little different as it may not be a sign he’s not into you but a sign he’s too into you or that he’s into you for the wrong reasons. It’s a big red flag for the health of your relationship and because of this, I felt it important to include.

This is my last dating red flag in my dating series on 4 Signs He’s Not Into You. If you missed the previous 3 signs, never fear. You can find the links below. Here are the first 3 signs:

  1. He doesn’t initiate communication.
  2. He hasn’t introduced you to his friends or family.
  3. He doesn’t take you out.

Spending Time Together

Are you dating someone who wants to see you every day? Do you sometimes feel overwhelmed by them? In my experience, the healthiest relationships are ones in which each individual has their own friends, there are mutual friends, and each person just takes time for themselves. On the surface, your significant other wanting to spend every day with you is not a bad thing. You just have to look a little deeper to make sure of the intentions behind this. As a quick disclaimer, there are some instances where your love interest wanting to spend all of his time with you may be okay and warranted, such as if your significant other is in the military or just travels a great deal for work. Seeing each other may be the best thing for your relationship in instances like these. This information is not geared towards those circumstances.

Why might your love interest desire to spend all of his time with you? Let’s sort out the both the good and not-so-good reasons:

  1. He likes you and enjoys being with you.
  2. He views this as normal in relationships and “how it should be”.
  3. His friend circle is small or nonexistent.
  4. Not close with his family.
  5. Doesn’t work.
  6. Doesn’t have any hobbies/interests.

What Makes Up A Healthy Dating Relationship

I believe each individual needs several different types of relationships in order to make a romantic relationship work best. Let me explain a little more. 

  • A relationship with yourself – You need time to yourself whether that means being at home or taking class of some sort. You need time to grow as an individual.
  • Relationships with friends – You need time with your friends. Do not stop seeing your friends because you’re in a new relationship with some hottie. This is a surefire way to hurt your friends and unfortunately, sometimes lose them for good. As humans, our need for friendship is written in our very fiber. We were made for relationships.
  • Relationship with family – Family looks different to everyone, but keeping in contact with them is crucial. Again, don’t let that hottie make you forget the people who have been there for you.
  • Mutual friends – It’s important for you and your dating partner to spend time with others, whether it be other couples or just mutual friends. You learn more about each other and about how your love interest treat others as well. 
  • You and your dating partner – Of course, you and your love interest need to spend time together to get to know one another. As mentioned in part 3, plan date nights out of the house. Have fun and be adventurous.

So if you follow this mindset, it’s just not healthy to spend time together day after day after day. In addition, if you follow this framework, you won’t be able to spend every day together because you’ll be too busy nourishing your other relationships. 

Yikes, My Guy’s A Clinger

What do you do if you find yourself dating someone who sounds like this? Don’t fret. Here’s a few ideas.

  1. Suggest you not see each other every day. Explain your rationale, so the person doesn’t think you are trying to end the relationship.
  2. Try to suggest inviting others into your time together such as your friends, his friends, and/or your mutual friends.
  3. See how the person reacts both immediately and in the days to come. You want to make sure they respect your space. If you are trying to nourish yourself and other relationships in your life and they are angry and taking it personally, that may be a sign for you to move on. They may take it personally and decide they don’t want to see you anymore. In either case, though not easy, it sounds like you are saving yourself from significant future heartache.

If you find yourself in a relationship where you are feeling suffocated or if you realize you don’t have a good balance in your life, let’s schedule a session so we can chat more about helping you get to a better place in your relationships. Email or call me at [email protected]/904-204-9308.

Maria Inoa

Maria Inoa

Maria Inoa is a licensed clinical social worker and the owner of Full Potential Counseling. With over 12 years of experience, she specializes in working with women on building healthier relationships with themselves and others. She strongly believes that women are warriors and that every woman has worth, significance, and purpose. Maria provides in-person sessions at her office in the Ortega area as well as online sessions for the busy woman. For a free phone/online consultation or to schedule a session with Maria, call 904-204-9308 or email her at [email protected]