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Building Healthy Relationships

Part 1: Your Relationship With Yourself

When someone asks you about your relationships, I think most of us think about our friends, family members, co-workers, and significant others. We don’t typically think about ourselves. I don’t think most of us even think of it at all when considering our relationships, but oh, how important it is. 

The Foundation

Let’s say you’re having your dream home built from the ground up. The workers lay the foundation, but you notice some cracks and unevenness. If you didn’t say anything and the building continued, wouldn’t that make you uneasy about the house and it’s overall stability? So if the foundation of the house represents how you feel about yourself, the house being built upon it represents all of your relationships. In other words, if you don’t have a solid foundation of self-love, your relationships will likely be unstable in one way or another. 

How do you know if your self-esteem is affecting your relationships? Examples of the negative effects of low self-esteem that I see most often are:

  • Having difficulty trusting others, especially with romantic partners.

  • Feeling insecure about your worth and your abilities.

  • Accepting poor treatment from others.

  • Having poor boundaries or no boundaries.

The Oxygen Mask

If you’ve ever flown in an airplane, you know the safety speech the flight attendants go over before take off. They always emphasize that if anything were to happen requiring the oxygen mask, to first, secure yours, then help others you are with. This is the same in life. You have to make sure you are taken care of so that you can take of others around you.

If this resonates with you, stay tuned. My next post will focus on my first tip for how to begin building a better relationship with yourself. It’s never too late to work on building your self-esteem. I believe it’s an ongoing process not just something you check off the to-do list one day.

Maria Inoa

Maria Inoa

Maria Inoa is a licensed clinical social worker practicing in the state of Florida. She specializes in working with teens and young professionals on a variety of issues, including low self-esteem, life transitions, relationships, and depressive symptoms. She desires to help people live a better life, as defined by each individual person. Maria has 15 years of experience and has a private practice in Jacksonville, Florida. To schedule a session with Maria, call 904-204-9308. Email me: [email protected] or visit our website: fullpotentialcounseling.com