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Forgive Yourself

Building a Better Relationship with Yourself Tip #1

How do you build a better relationship with yourself? First, you have to forgive yourself for all the things you may be holding on to. I’m sure you’ve made mistakes in the past, and (gasp!) you may even have some pretty embarrassing ones that you try not to think about. The truth of the matter is that this does not set you apart from the rest of the society. No one’s going to force you to walk around wearing a scarlet letter because, the truth is, we’d all be walking around wearing a scarlet letter. Everyone has made mistakes. We all have regrets. We all have things we wish we could go back in time and change or undo. It’s okay. You are human. Humans aren’t perfect and there’s nothing that says we should be. There’s nothing wrong with you. 

So how in the world do you start forgiving yourself?

  1. Most importantly, understand that forgiveness is an ongoing process. Just like with forgiving anyone, you need to keep reminding yourself daily that you’ve made the choice to forgive yourself, maybe even multiple times a day if necessary. 
  2. Positive self-talk is crucial. You have to speak to yourself with kindness.
  3. Pay more attention to your thoughts. We all have a train of thought going on in our heads and you have to make sure you hold the reigns to those thoughts.
  4. When you catch yourself thinking a negative thought about yourself, replace it with something more positive. Even telling yourself “I’m okay” can be calming. 
  5. Pick a positive affirmation, mantra, quote, or scripture that resonates with you. Put it in places where you can be reminded and repeat it as much as needed (and out loud if at all possible).

As with everything in life, practice is the key. The more you practice forgiving yourself, the easier it becomes and the less weight you will feel on your shoulders. To find out more about why it’s important to have a good relationship with yourself before anyone else, check out my previous post My next post will give you another important tip for building a healthier relationship with yourself, so stay tuned.


Maria Inoa

Maria Inoa

Maria Inoa is a licensed clinical social worker practicing in the state of Florida. She specializes in working with teens and young professionals on a variety of issues, including low self-esteem, life transitions, relationships, and depressive symptoms. She desires to help people live a better life, as defined by each individual person. Maria has over 12 years of experience and has a private practice in Jacksonville, Florida. To schedule a session with Maria, call 904-204-9308. Email me: [email protected] or visit our website: