Self-Worth and Self-Love Counseling in Jacksonville, Florida
How we view ourselves affects every single thing in our lives. Some call it self-esteem. Others may refer to it as self-love. I like to focus on the term, self-worth, as I strongly believe that each and every one of us has a purpose and significance. In other words, YOU matter.
Our self-worth comes from multiple factors.
- Our childhood - our primary caregivers influenced what we came to believe about ourselves. We may have been told negative things or experienced some form of abuse. We may have watched negative, even abusive interactions. I believe that our childhood, for better or worse, sets the foundation for us as adults.
- Bullying - Words hurt, especially the first time or two you get picked on, if you’ve never experienced that negativity. That old saying of sticks and stones may break your bones but words will never hurt me is false. They do hurt and honestly, they can stay with us well into adulthood. It starts to paint a picture for us of who we are, though it may be false.
- What we tell ourselves - we all have an ongoing train of thought in our heads. I dare say most of us don’t really pay attention to those thoughts much.
Some of us, whether we realize it or not, tend to be really negative in our thoughts, especially about ourselves.
For example, you may miss the turn going to an important meeting and have an automatic, split second thought “I’m so stupid.”
Maybe you make a mistake at work, and automatically think, “”I can’t do anything right” or even, “I’m such a failure.”
These quick, fleeting thoughts actually hold a lot of weight and significance for how we view ourselves and in turn, present ourselves to the world.
- The media - movies/tv shows, magazines, and social media
The media, in any of these forms, gives us the message that our worth is directly connected to our physical image. And that’s a lie. It sets you up to strive for an impossible standard.
Helping You Feel Better
I have a 3 step process I typically use when working with women that involves block, accept, and feed.
- Block the negative
- Accept yourself, (perceived) flaws and all
- Feed your soul
We work through each of these areas and come up with a plan for what the person needs to work on. Everyone’s circumstances are different, so I like to create a plan with my client based on their unique needs. As I always say, it takes baby steps to create positive, lasting change. I come along side of you to help you get to a place where you feel better and have reached your previously discussed goal for treatment.