Why Dating Yourself is Key to Finding Your Dream Partner
So often I work with women who go from relationship to relationship. They barely get through one breakup before they are already talking to or actively dating someone new. This always sets off alarms when I hear this. Going from relationship to relationship is typically never healthy emotionally or mentally.
I find that usually the reason that women do this is because they are not comfortable being alone. We can so easily run from things, run from the tough emotions and the bad experiences we’ve had. I get it. Being with yourself can be scary if you haven’t dealt with things from your past. Women often fear being overwhelmed by their emotions. Fearing that they will be swallowed up by them. However, you set yourself up for failure in your relationships by going from one to the other. Usually the women ends up heartbroken and frustrated. Trying to figure out what went wrong.
If this resonates with you, I encourage you to press pause on your dating life. I can’t tell you how much time you need to do this for, but 3 months is a good starting point. Often the women I work with will find this time so liberating, that they continue on for longer than just a few month.
Not being okay with being by yourself is telling of how you truly feel about yourself. Do you like who you are at your core? I’m sure you’ve heard the saying that you can’t love someone else if you can’t love yourself. And this is 100% true.
Time by yourself can be a time of beautiful growth. It can be uncomfortable at first but like anything else in life, it gets easier. Dating yourself means learning to love and appreciate you.
When you are alone at home do things that bring you joy like lighting candles, playing your favorite music, making yourself a special meal, taking a bubble bath, journaling, meditating, or work on a hobby/interest that you have.
Pressing pause on your dating life can look like you doing things for you. Take a class, connect with your friends, meet new friends, foster a new healthy hobby. There are so many things you can do during this time. I guarantee you’ll come out better on the other side if you stick with it and really give yourself time to reflect.
Making yourself a priority and making learning to love yourself, flaws and all, will make your relationships SO much better.